Emotions, the Greatest Ally and the Biggest Enemy
The biggest emotion I often get as a parent is 'worry.'
"Is my child on the right developmental track? Am I on the right track? Is she safe? Hungry? Satisfied? What if she feels unloved???"
The desire to 'know it all' has turned into a fear and worry. To avoid having such insecurity, it has turned into greed. This greed makes me want to feed the child and put her to sleep. Get my hands free. The peace, while she sleeps, is the only comfort zone left without any emotions bothering me.
Emotions: Natural Safety Measures
As you well know, the emotions have kept us safe and evolving throughout history.
Fear, worry, rage, and anger keep us away from danger. Joy and sadness bring people closer. Amazement lets us continue exploring.
It's like a natural safety measure. If you haven't seen the movie 'Inside Out,' it's a must-watch with your child (if you are in the stage of partial media allowance, of course). Emotions support our well-being.
Your child must learn to control his or her emotions. It's going to set the tone for their lives and teach them survival skills.
Teaching to Allying with Emotions
It's probably one of the most difficult tasks for parents. We feel like we don't even have a full grasp of our emotions.
The good news is, you don't have to be in full control of your emotions. In fact, that's impossible.
Your emotions are built not to be under control. You learn some social skills to hide your emotions at times, but if you let your emotions boil inside you for too long, they come and get you.
We ally with emotions, not in control. We learn to let it out sometimes and hold it in the other times. But, we train ourselves to be honest with ourselves about emotions.
Let it flow like water, but we build some bridges where needed.
Some Bad Practices
We make the mistake of controlling our child's emotions for our convenience. We want our child to stop crying, like ever. We want our child to be calm, like always. We want them to be a happy baby if not an emotionless robot.
We know so well about being sad, we go and clear out the sadness from their inventory of feelings. Having been an experienced anger-er, we go out and fight for our children.
Of course, the parents must come to attention when the basic life-threatening danger is present. We want the best for our children. We don't want anyone stepping on their foot and not apologizing.
But, they need to learn their feelings too. They need to figure out what to do when something is done to them wrongfully.
What Should Parents Do?
The best thing for the parents to teach the children to control their emotions is: WAIT.
We need to give them room and time. We wait for their small brain to do the magic: recognize, analyze, resolve, and take action.
Then, we can give them feedback when they ask to or they are ready for it. We don't want to intervene too deep, even if you know what's going on in their head!
It's tough seeing your little angel struggle. You bit of help can save thousand hours of stressing for your child. We know, we know. But let your child take a step. Trust your child. Give them a chance.
It's easier said than done. But when you've done it right, you will see your baby grow! Happy waiting!
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