What Does It Take to Be a Good Father?
My father was a well-known, respected scientist/professor in his field of Laboratory Animals. He knew a lot of people. He was always busy with his work or colleagues. I spent many weekends merely watching him sleep.
It generated fear of becoming a father. I wasn't confident that I'd become a good one. It was like walking into a jungle blindfolded. The only guidance on hand was my dad's example.
Scrapping the Genetic Map
What you grew up with is hard to get rid of. It runs in your blood. It formed your identity. It's already a part of who you are. Even if you hated it, some of your father's gestures, comments, tones, or vocabulary are naturally inherited.
Some things that you thought your dad was awesome for turn out it's nearly impossible to replicate. It just leaves you thinking "How in the world did he pull it off?"
Following his footsteps or trying to avoid his footsteps might not be the best solution to becoming a good father.
Stick to What You Are Good At
If you pulled off marriage, that'd probably mean you are recognized by your significant other to be a man worthy of living the rest of your life together. No matter what you did to show your love, you've earned the trust.
You might not have been a popular lady's man, but for your wife, you've devoted your time and effort. It might not have been natural. You needed some life lessons from others, tips from Instagram, or learn from your own mistakes.
However it came together, you've learned to love and show that you care for your significant other. That's the way! That's just it.
A Good Father equals A Good Husband?
Of course, you won't be doing seductive things to your children. That is a big no-no. All you are going to focus on doing is showing your love to your wife! You are just going to continue to do what you've been doing.
You will need to do the fatherly chores around the house, keep your children safe, and have the hard talks with your children at the appropriate times. Do it for your wife.
I'm saying it aside from having a good relationship with your child. It's only from the perspective of being a good father and setting a good example as one.
The chores around the house: if you don't, your wife, the only other adult around, will have to.
Keeping children safe: if you don't, your wife, the only other adult around, will have to.
Having the hard talks: if you don't, your wife, the only significant other adult around, will have to.
Since you love your wife, you want to do the things that are hard for either of you. You take up the cross and put it on your shoulder.
Loving Relationship
Having parents who love each other so much is the greatest gift for the children. They learn from the example. You are the most visible example around. If you show them how to express love, love passionately, and do things for your lover, your children have the best father. They will try to recreate what you do for the family in various ways.
Now you don't have to focus on two things, but one. Being a good husband is being a good father from some angles.
Conclusion
Just because your father wasn't the most terrific movie-like figure, doesn't mean anything is holding you back from becoming one. You can have the warmest smile for your family even if your father never showed his teeth between his lips.
You've got your own family now. You might not be an education-savvy parent who knows everything there is to know about raising a child. But you sure know how to love your wife. That's pretty much all you need to become a good dad. Setting the example of what a loving relationship is like. Let them know what they should expect from a person who claims to love them. You are teaching them all the life lessons ever needed by setting the standards with your life.